Scottish comic Susan Calman has a wit that could cut glass, but her appearance at Edinburgh International Book Festival covers much more than her comedy.
Calman has written honestly about her experience of depression. Her book ‘Cheer Up Love’ is by her own admission not a medical or self help book, “I’m not a medical doctor, although I’ve watched a lot of casualty…”
It is instead an honest account of her own experiences of the “crab of hate”; the phrase she uses to describe the depression which has long plagued her but currently manages to keep at bay. Of course, her event is fiercely funny, but also painfully honest.
She describes her battles with depression, which started as a child in a family where ‘you just got on with it’ and enquiries about emotional states were low on the agenda. Her attempted suicide and subsequent sectioning as a teenager are clearly still upsetting to discuss publicly, but her humour is her remedy when the crab threatens.
“I worked on the contract for the trams; I bet you knew there was a glaswegian involved in that”
“In my family you went to university and got a bloody job, so I became a lawyer.” Her admission “I worked on the contract for the trams; I bet you knew there was a glaswegian involved in that” is greeted by huge belly laughs from the Edinburgh- centric audience.
Calman explains “I love the application of law, but I didn’t enjoy the small world of law. Resigning to go off to ‘be a star’ was the only risky decision I ever made.” She goes on “In my gut I knew I wanted to express myself. Billy Connolly inspired me to express myself through comedy.”
Lee Randall asks Calman about how writing the book and discussing her depression via stand up has helped. “It gets easier when you say things out loud again and again.” Randall asks Calman how she feels about jokes about depression. “Everyone should joke about what they want, but I have the right not to like it. But as someone who is depressed I can push it a bit further, it’s all about context.”
Calman talks about the challenges of the life of a stand-up with a mental health problem, particularly the effect of lone touring. “I stay in premier inns because my career’s on fire.” she explains drily. “ 17 months away from home, that’s tough without your support network.” However, despite a fire in her flat, she is feeling good at this year’s Edinburgh festival season, and is “being kinder to myself.”
For Calman, drinking less is helpful. “I’ve had a couple of bottles of prosecco, but no alcohol.” The audience applauds this delightful self delusion. “I’ve been going to the gym. When you recognise what the triggers are, you can try to avoid them. Sometimes I go bowling or eat prawn cocktail for breakfast, or watch Tootsie to cheer myself up.”
“I’ve been punching my personal trainer, and it’s amazing. It helps me get rid of my frustration and helps my self image.”
“I gave up smoking, got a personal trainer, started boxing and weightlifting: it’s the best thing. I’ve been punching my personal trainer, and it’s amazing. It helps me get rid of my frustration and helps my self image.” Calman admits that self image is a longstanding problem for her. “I don’t have any mirrors in my house”.
“If you stand in superhero pose you feel great, and someone doing that with you is great.”
Calman has one further therapeutic activity to recommend. “If you stand in superhero pose you feel great, and someone doing that with you is great.” To underline the point, Calman jumps to her feet to demonstrate her favourite superhero pose, which, I have to agree, makes me laugh and, yes, feel better. ‘Cheer Up Love’ may not be a medical book, but she might be onto something here.